Starting over

Can you still call yourself a runner when you haven’t run for nearly half a year?

Things looked a little bleak in January when my retina came loose yet again, but third eye op and third time lucky. Everything finally stayed where it was supposed to, and I adjusted to life being a little fuzzy and distorted. 

The bad news? An eyeball full of oil meant a further three months with no running, no jumping, no anything that could be described as ‘high impact’. 

Through highs and lows, running’s been a constant in my life since my twenties. It’s my meditation, my playtime, my community. I was bereft.

In my dreams, I’d run. It always felt smooth and oh so easy. Then I’d remember that I wasn’t allowed to do this now, and wake up in a panic.

January to April dragged their feet. I had big plans for epic adventure walks but after a soggy winter my favourite routes were mudfests and it was hard to muster the enthusiasm.

Then finally, after five months and surgery number four, the oil is out, and I’ve got the thumbs up to return to normal life. Running included.

So I’m starting over as a beginner.

My body’s had nothing more strenuous to deal with than the odd bit of hill walking since November, and it feels rusty and uncoordinated.

Every milestone feels like a scary challenge. Run for a whole five minutes without stopping? Can I still do that? But with each step forward, a little more confidence returns.

And what a treat it is to be running again.

In the words of the great Amby Burfoot:

“Every run is a new adventure, and every mile is a gift.”

PS. A big heartfelt thank you to the fantastic staff at Musgrove Park Hospital, for looking after me so well throughout 💕